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I Knew I Lost You When…

I knew I lost you when,

my ego finally got the win it was fighting for,

you did not fight back,

you just cared less,

misery,

suicidal thoughts lingering,

pushing love harder with my best efforts,

only to be surprised by your hate for me,

hating back wasn’t my strongest option,

leaving you was practical but my heart was hurting,

should I treat her as she treats me?

should I revenge and feel all proud of it?

the questions I asked when I could not sleep,

thankfully, the Christian in me took a hold of it,

what can I say?

I was never perfect,

you wanted gold but I gave you silver instead, my mistake,

I wanted love but you had lust, I get it,

joke’s on me, but I’ll never slap, you get it?

checkmate,

it was a game for you and I lost the bet,

I thought you a Queen in this game of chess,

who am I kidding? I looked away from all the red flags you raised,

again, my mistake,

I knew I lost you when,

respectfully,

you turned out to be the very thing you said you hate,

once more, my mistake.

*******

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