Building With My Mistakes: Part 2

If I understood better

we wouldn’t be where we are

the awkward moments when we stare at each other

reminiscing about the pure love we gave one another

If I understood better

I’d know that you were meant for me

as I was meant to make you happy and holy too

If I understood better

you would still be by my side

and I would definitely build a castle inside your heart.

— —

But I didn’t understand better

I let my past mistakes define me

and I let my ego build a wall upon the very promise I swore not to break

I didn’t understand better

all the dreams I had for us didn’t mean much compared to my selfish ambition

I was ready to sacrifice “us” and crawl back to my empty room of self-centeredness

you were never wrong

I just never knew how to be there for you.

— —

But I will not be the same

God has a way of changing cold hearted rebels, killers, fonicators and hypocrites

like Jonah, Paul, David and now ME

into lovers, helpers, godly men and gentlemen

so I will be everything God wants me to be

more than everything I once told you I will be.

*******